When you're having the most fantastic, ultra meaningful, extra connected, uber synchronistic dance with a Universe that wants nothing but to blow out all of your birthday candles and send you affirmation chanting butterflies. You are so manifesting your desires, so in the flow, so boss witching and so doing you and suddenly--
Suddenly you are shanked in the ribs with an ugly guerilla stab of jealousy.
The hot prickly static rises behind your eyes and the wriggling, burning, oily slugs of Envy start somersaulting in your guts.
Their shop is expanding
Their work is getting attention
They are in the throes of a blossoming relationship
Their piece was published
They received the scholarship
...Another album of travel photos
They nailed the interview
They have more friends, subscribers, likes, comments, contacts, chinchillas...
Fuuuuuuuuuq. (Chanting butterflies exit stage left.)
It's not surprising. We are trained to participate in an endless game of one ups-manship and toxic comparison. We spend leisure time in a voyeuristic wonderland of Competition, sizing up everyone we know, don't know and think we know.
Jealousy and envy are normal and natural reactions. However, sitting in our own green-eyed stew is not only unhealthy and disempowering--it's
While it can masquerade as righteous anger or constructive criticism, Jealousy only further distances us from the life we Love. It numbs us and pulls us away from creative processes and generally kicking ass.
So how do we get out of the swamp? As magical thinkers, How do we alchemize jealousy into an elixir that feeds us?
Magical folks know that thoughts become Things. The more often we pour energy into something, the harder we work at making it into SOMETHING. If we continuously suckle the Envy Slug with our insecurity, hurt, self pity, rage, and frustrations it will grow until it is so grotesquely huge and slippery that we lose control of it. It becomes a THING that controls US. Ick.
The first defense against the Envy Slug is not to feed it. Refuse to hemorrhage your life and siphon that energy into what you want to happen. Salt that Slug. We can use that twinge we feel as a sign that it's time to distill our energy into Feeding what what we really Want.
|Jon Mayer and His Slug|
Magical folks know that Nothing is ever as it seems. Nothing. Ever. We never know the whole tale. There is always another layer. What appears to be easy, sudden or a stroke of dumb Luck on the surface was most likely a long simmering result of work, hustle, a string of failures, tough decisions and potential sacrifice.
It is tempting to assume that cosmic assistance is out there delivering others to their dreams while leaving us on the corner to wait for a bus that's always late.
It was a lose-lose situation: I felt like a sore loser because her success haunted me as my failure in tandem with deep shame for knowing my girl hate was showing. It killed my confidence, poisoned the well of my enthusiasm, made me say remorseful things in private, filled me with self loathing and was zapping my life force in a HUGE way.
The Slug had me in a wicked head lock.
One day we met casually outside of our normal territory. To my surprise, it came out in conversation that she was experiencing many of the same roadblocks that I was--and then asked me for advice.
Wait. What? You're joking. You're out of my league, light years away, AN ALIEN QUEEN ON ANOTHER FREAKIN PLANET. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!
*gnashing of teeth*
*gnashing of teeth*
The terrain was utterly different than I ever imagined.
It was a huge shift. I was thoroughly convinced that this woman stood for everything that burned me and in a split second it was crystal clear that this self inflicted despair and helplessness had nothing to do with her and everything to do with my lack of confidence and Trust in my own journey.
We can neutralize envy with Confidence. When we bring confidence and trust into the mix, envy transmutes to become its hotter sibling, Admiration.
Epilogue: We are real friends now. I'm out of shame prison.
The field is leveled. I have my power back AND I'm up a comrade.
Magical folks know that this Universe is Abundant. For Real. If we really believe the Universe is Infinitely Abundant (like we say we do) we know there is more than enough for everyone. We know that Success not a cake: If someone has a slice, it doesn't mean there is less for us.
Next time we see or hear something that tugs at our guts and takes a sucker punch at our self worth, counteract with a little spell, a memo for the Cosmic Enchilada,
"I'll take some of that, please" or
"I'll have what he's having, please and thank you".
Magical folks know the power of Polarity. Hermetic philosophy tells us about this hipness Polarity--the idea that everything in the Universe is dual and has two extremes, that all opposites are merely a matter of degree (ex: hot/cold, love/hate). Everything is a spectrum, a sliding scale.
If we want to stir up our circumstances and break out of the soul suckage and stagnation of jealousy, we can use polarity to push hard in the opposite direction towards support.
Genuinely compliment that person. Ask them for advice.
Let them know you are thinking of them. Congratulate them. Extend an invite.
Close your eyes and send them a Well wish, even if it's hard. (It will be hard.)
I know, I know--"Send them love bleeeeeeeeeeh" It sounds fluffy and annoying and unmagician-y until you try it and see how difficult it really is.
Here's the thing: I find this more effective than blocking, unfollowing or cutting someone out of my life. While those actions might be a quick off switch for pain, they do nothing to change how I feel about myself or the target of my nastiness. Polarity works. Push that sliding scale, ride that spectrum and get to where you want to be.
A Giant Squid: A Prime Example of Freaky Shit being Possible
Magical folks know all kinds of freaky shit is possible. Instead of shutting down, we can choose to be inspired by the actions of others because it is further proof that It Is Possible. If this person can do it--it can be done--and you can do it too. People being in their bliss is an Affirmation of all the woo we hold so dear!
Magical folks have the ability to honor paradoxical, fantastic, abstract, unexplained glistening thoughts about all of the possibilities of this life--
Believing that you are enough and what you desire
is possible for you, should be one of them, Moon Baby.
Witch On, Witch Boldly. XOXO
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