Friday, December 26, 2014

Saying Goodbye Like a Bad Ass

For some of us, the vision of a Kick Ass Year may have less to do with inviting things in and more to do with letting things go...

 Behaviors, experiences, disappointments or perceived failures, toxic people, anxieties, habits, limiting beliefs, old hurts--all the ghosts and mucky muck keeping you stuck in the past.

A little releasing ritual can be a powerful reminder about what you want to make room for, what you're willing to release, make peace with, heal and kiss goodbye.

A closing ceremony. A punctuation mark at the end.
Allowing yourself to move forward as the Bad Ass You Are Destined to Be.
Here are a few of my favorite potent releasing techniques:  

With lipstick, drugstore eyeliner pen or cheap magic markers write down or draw pictures on your body of the thing/things that no longer serves you. Cover your skin or focus on a particular area of the body that applies to your intent. Then take a hot shower and as you lather up imagine those things sliding away from you and slipping down the drain.

Buy or make yourself a little roll, baguette or cookie to represent the person, place, thing, behavior or belief you want to release. Take it to a park or your yard-- anywhere that birds hang out-- feed your bread to the birds and watch them carry it away from you.

If you want to get Martha Stewarty, you could make a baked item that looks like or relates to your intent.

I immediately imagine making Gingerbread Jerks & Cigarettes and gleefully feeding their cookie limbs and butts to some cranky geese...

Maybe you're seeking a slower and gentler transformation. Write down or draw your desire on a brick wall or sidewalk with chalk. Watch the elements begin to slowly take it away over the course of several days or weeks.

You can apply this idea to stones: Write or make a symbol of your release intention with chalk and toss it into a lake, pond or running water.

Heck, you can skip writing all together if it suits you. Just whisper to that rock what you are releasing and chuck that baby into the water. Think about that rock very VERY slowly being assimilated into the lake,  turning into sand, or your message being carried away by the moving water. 

Buy a cheapie notebook from the dollar store, fill it with the things you would like to release and bury it in your yard or in a flower pot. For extra transformation magic, sow seeds on top of it and watch in morph into something wonderful.

Fire is the ultimate Transformer. We instinctively burn things we no longer need or don't want people to see. Why not harness that power for a more savory motivation?

Lots of folks recommend writing down what no longer serves you on bits of paper and burning them up with a candle. But what if we need the Big Guns?

Build a fire. If you don't have a private yard with a fire pit, you can use a foil lined Smokey Joe grill or a sturdy metal pot. (I use my cast iron dutch oven.) 

Now feed it.

Feed it drawings, collages, letters, articles of clothing, old paperwork, sticks that you've labeled with intent, bits of origami with your wishes inside, garbage, party decorations, paper dolls, or confetti.

Pro Tip: This isn't the time to beat yourself up or project malice towards other people. Self imposed victim-hood is the least powerful place you can come from and sucks the fun out of everything. I know, it's temping to get maniacal...

However, this IS the time to focus on change and transformation. 

Watch your fuel be eaten up and carried away by the wind. Then dispose of the ashes however you see fit: bury them, scatter them, deposit them at a cross roads or flush them down the toilet.

Gotta love toilet magic.

But you say, "Molly, I need BIGGER GUNS."

Alright then. It's time to get weird. Hold a wake to release and put shit to rest.

You heard me: have a funeral for your baggage. Make a cardboard casket. Listen to wobbly dirges on your record player. Get some flowers. Light your memorial candles. Make it extra weird by inviting your friends to memorialize their own shit with you.

Fill up your casket with anything that represents what you need to release. Say the goodbyes you need to say, and take it to the "church yard".

After you have entombed your releases, it's time to blast big band music and eat cake to celebrate a Free You.

What do you want to release to make 2015 powerful and joyful? 

Get creative. Do it for you, bunnies.

Do you have coo-coo ideas for Releasing? I would love to hear all about them, Darling.

To your Transformation, XO

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Lessons from The Rock & Roll Diaries

A book report on 15 years of Rock and Roll findings:

You can really do whatever you want. Like, whatever you want. 

You can wear whatever you want: party decorations, garbage bags, tutus, old socks, second hand ice skating costumes, kids pajamas and pimp coats, as long as you believe that's the way it should be.

People will delight in telling you that your plan/life/art/dream is bullshit. People can't resist relishing in the failures of others --it's like ambrosia to them. It makes them feel secure and validated about wimping out, giving up and settling for less.

Strangely enough, these bearers of Bad News aren't usually garden variety Village Idiots.

Most of the time they are "well meaning" friends or family.
You can say Fuck 'em and still love a "well meaning" way of course. 

You're going to end up in some Weird places. You'll learn to document these terrains so you have proof it wasn't a hallucination.

People are going to tell you that you're brave and you will forever feel silly and uncomfortable.

It is absolutely possible to be an introvert and practice an extroverted art.

There are a lot of screwed up people out there--but sprinkled amongst the angry fruit loops there are

grade school teachers who want to tell you about their students,
Moms who want their kids to grow up to be strong and happy,
Folks who have been doing what you do since the dawn of time and want to share with you,
and young people who want to show you what they learned at ballet class,
and versions of yourself that exist in parallel dimensions,

and now you're friends on instagram.

Suddenly, the overbearing drunk-o with barf on his jacket is an egg you're willing to crack. 

Image by Wendy Schreier Photography


All that "energy" stuff becomes very real to you. You won't know where it comes from, or how it works, but you'll be glad it does.  

You are never EVER for a SINGULAR millisecond, "too cool" for ANYONE. Especially people who shared energy with you through their money, time, attention, appreciation and presence. 

Contrary to what art school will impress upon you, Sometimes (most of the time) your first idea is the best idea. NOT because it is the most complicated or elegant solution, but it has the most Energy.

You're going to make ugly sounds and gross faces. You're going to chip teeth and bust knees.

It's okay if people are afraid of you. It's okay if people wouldn't want to date you.

People will make assumptions about the kind of person you are based on the art you create.

That's their problem, not yours.

Courtesy is the biggest gun you can carry.  

Courtesy also works splendidly as a key. Want the wardrobe doors to fly open? Treat humans like humans and BAM, you're in Narnia, Muffins.  

 You don't need to be rude--but you certainly don't need to be friends with everyone.

If someone makes you feel slimy, don't work with them. Integrity is the Second Gun. Your sense of Self Respect will always steer you in the right direction.

People can (and will) have no idea what the hell you're talking about and still enjoy themselves. Most of the time people don't really care what you saying. They care about how you make them feel and where you take them.

All that stuff about 'taking care of yourself' is the best advice you won't take for a long time. You know, indulging in time wasting activities like eating regularly, drinking water and sleeping... 

Doing what you love isn't always going to be fun. It's work. Real soul work. That's when we draw on power of Passion to kick us in the ass.

Folks will snidely ask you if you're making any money.

You have the ability to pour over the Library of Bizarre Experiences  and pull out gems like:

Wandering around Dinosaur parks off the sweltering highway in the middle of God Knows Where

Exploring haunted swimming pools and lurking backstage with beautiful souls you met across the country on a different adventure

Discussing your favorite places to score leotards with hulked-out spandex decked wrestlers in a drippy basement before the match

Screaming about pizza toppings and snoopy dancing with 65 grade school girls who are secretly super heroes.  In a world class venue to boot...

Wearing false lashes and sipping coffee at 5:00 am in a dark bar with chihuahuas, a strong man and a guy who swallows swords.

Having one of your heroes shave your head on stage while your friends gather around the mic to pour out a chorus. 

And to satisfy and spare these rude people you will smile and say,

"No, I'm not."
 Because if they really knew it would explode their brain.

 And that's murder. 

There is deep generosity and plentiful abundance and true connection in this world that has nothing to do with money.

On that note... 

People assume that creatives can't possibly be business minded. 

That's dumb.

People will assume that because you're having fun you don't need to get paid. 

This is also dumb.

You would never call a plumber and tell him to "just have fun" while grappling with the gelatinous hair goblin in your toilet. After he completes the task, remind him that it's about exposure and you might compensate him next time.

Plumbers don't plumb for the love of plumbing. They plumb because they have a passion, committed to perfecting a set of skills and provide a valuable service that you pay for. 

You get what I'm saying...

You will also learn that pizza is not actually money. 
Sometimes it smells like money, but don't be fooled.

You can be so nervous that you throw up and black out and your Body will STILL know what to do. Your body is not your enemy, it's not trapping you. It wants to help you. Make friends with it. Trust it.

Speaking of vomit, you are likely to barf in public, suffer wardrobe malfunctions, repeatedly trip over your own feet, drop expensive things, fall off the stage, and despite your intense desire to die--

You won't.

People who judge you by the type of music you consume aren't really people you want to be friends with anyway.

You can  dedicate yourself to an intense daily practice discipline and you will STILL mess up on stage.
All the time. Forever. Don't beat yourself up.

If you really need too, you can Out Crazy anyone. Call on your demons. They're in there.

Hitchhiker's Guide wasn't kidding. Bring a towel everywhere you go. Seriously. 

You're going to feel lonely. Your friends will stop calling you. You won't be invited to parties. You'll start to think you regret the path you chose. Then you'll remember that you don't do what you do to gain love from others. You do what you do to be able to love and live with yourself

Rock and Roll Jedi shit, man.

If you are feeling stretched, or pushed and resisting--
Odds are good you're on the precipice of something really fucking interesting. 

You don't have to do what everyone else is doing.

Success is subjective.

It's not about perfection.

It's about Victory. 

Rock and Roll, Moon Babies. 

All my Love. XO