Friday, December 26, 2014

Saying Goodbye Like a Bad Ass

For some of us, the vision of a Kick Ass Year may have less to do with inviting things in and more to do with letting things go...

 Behaviors, experiences, disappointments or perceived failures, toxic people, anxieties, habits, limiting beliefs, old hurts--all the ghosts and mucky muck keeping you stuck in the past.

A little releasing ritual can be a powerful reminder about what you want to make room for, what you're willing to release, make peace with, heal and kiss goodbye.

A closing ceremony. A punctuation mark at the end.
Allowing yourself to move forward as the Bad Ass You Are Destined to Be.
Here are a few of my favorite potent releasing techniques:  

With lipstick, drugstore eyeliner pen or cheap magic markers write down or draw pictures on your body of the thing/things that no longer serves you. Cover your skin or focus on a particular area of the body that applies to your intent. Then take a hot shower and as you lather up imagine those things sliding away from you and slipping down the drain.

Buy or make yourself a little roll, baguette or cookie to represent the person, place, thing, behavior or belief you want to release. Take it to a park or your yard-- anywhere that birds hang out-- feed your bread to the birds and watch them carry it away from you.

If you want to get Martha Stewarty, you could make a baked item that looks like or relates to your intent.

I immediately imagine making Gingerbread Jerks & Cigarettes and gleefully feeding their cookie limbs and butts to some cranky geese...

Maybe you're seeking a slower and gentler transformation. Write down or draw your desire on a brick wall or sidewalk with chalk. Watch the elements begin to slowly take it away over the course of several days or weeks.

You can apply this idea to stones: Write or make a symbol of your release intention with chalk and toss it into a lake, pond or running water.

Heck, you can skip writing all together if it suits you. Just whisper to that rock what you are releasing and chuck that baby into the water. Think about that rock very VERY slowly being assimilated into the lake,  turning into sand, or your message being carried away by the moving water. 

Buy a cheapie notebook from the dollar store, fill it with the things you would like to release and bury it in your yard or in a flower pot. For extra transformation magic, sow seeds on top of it and watch in morph into something wonderful.

Fire is the ultimate Transformer. We instinctively burn things we no longer need or don't want people to see. Why not harness that power for a more savory motivation?

Lots of folks recommend writing down what no longer serves you on bits of paper and burning them up with a candle. But what if we need the Big Guns?

Build a fire. If you don't have a private yard with a fire pit, you can use a foil lined Smokey Joe grill or a sturdy metal pot. (I use my cast iron dutch oven.) 

Now feed it.

Feed it drawings, collages, letters, articles of clothing, old paperwork, sticks that you've labeled with intent, bits of origami with your wishes inside, garbage, party decorations, paper dolls, or confetti.

Pro Tip: This isn't the time to beat yourself up or project malice towards other people. Self imposed victim-hood is the least powerful place you can come from and sucks the fun out of everything. I know, it's temping to get maniacal...

However, this IS the time to focus on change and transformation. 

Watch your fuel be eaten up and carried away by the wind. Then dispose of the ashes however you see fit: bury them, scatter them, deposit them at a cross roads or flush them down the toilet.

Gotta love toilet magic.

But you say, "Molly, I need BIGGER GUNS."

Alright then. It's time to get weird. Hold a wake to release and put shit to rest.

You heard me: have a funeral for your baggage. Make a cardboard casket. Listen to wobbly dirges on your record player. Get some flowers. Light your memorial candles. Make it extra weird by inviting your friends to memorialize their own shit with you.

Fill up your casket with anything that represents what you need to release. Say the goodbyes you need to say, and take it to the "church yard".

After you have entombed your releases, it's time to blast big band music and eat cake to celebrate a Free You.

What do you want to release to make 2015 powerful and joyful? 

Get creative. Do it for you, bunnies.

Do you have coo-coo ideas for Releasing? I would love to hear all about them, Darling.

To your Transformation, XO


  1. I am definitely looking forward to the new year, albeit with a little trepidation! I have learned so much this year, and good and bad things have happened! I am hoping next year circumstances will allow me to keep learning and improving, and pursue the goals I want to pursue!

  2. I love all of these ideas! I did something called Golden Cicada Sheds its Shell this past year (I did it on Chinese New Year's Eve, as it's a Chinese thing). If you Google it, you'll find various instructions on how to go about it. It involves a hardboiled egg "painted" with cinnabar (for which I use and highly recommend others use cayenne as a substitute, as cinnabar is freaking toxic shit) and high proof alcohol (like bacardi 151). It's a bit involved but it really gets you in the releasing groove as you're working it and I loved doing it. Gonna do it again this coming year!

  3. I love ALL these ideas...some I have done, others will be a new practice !
    This past summer I built an altar outdoors ( because of the negative energy ) in honor of a broken relationship with a sibling. I gathered tokens of good memories when he was healthy. I honored his good points of love and light. I watched it fade in the sunlight and disintegrate in this humid tropical weather. It was a slow process, which symbolized the demise of our relationship. RELEASE !! ( thanks for stopping by my blog ) and I love your little space here too !