Monday, July 15, 2013

Happy Days: F*ck You

I had planned to craft another list of gorgeous things that occurred this week to share with you, but after stumbling across this condescending article by Traveler Extraordinaire Mary Ann Anderson of, I couldn't help but share.

Mondays are perfect for a little fresh hate.

"Before my first visit to Milwaukee, which was originally a side trip from windy Chicago just a short drive to the south, I had preconceived notions of the city. Breweries, beer, bratwursts, factories, "Laverne and Shirley" and funny accents.

But I was proven wrong. Well, except for the accents."

Doesn't it give you a warm fuzzy feeling in the cockles of your heart to know not only are 'Travel Authorities" basing their hypothesis about a city on TV shows from 40 years ago, but are being paid to write this?

It gets better. She waxes philosophical on the state of our fair city:

"Who knew Milwaukee would evolve into one jammed with culture, world-class restaurants and perhaps the ultra-coolest museum on the planet?"

Ultra-coolest. Congratulations on your discovery of the art museum. Yes, we here in Chicago's suburbs managed to used our cretin monkey hands to build buildings. We can  also tie our own shoes, make a decent sandwich and often make it to work on our own.

We are then given a insightful tour on par with a tri-fold brochure made for an 8th grade book report.
Seriously though, have you been to the art museum?  
Also, Cheese.

We complete our whirlwind tour with the shit syrup on the pretentious pancake stack:

"Nemetz even led us past a statue of one of Milwaukee's coolest fictional residents: Arthur "The Fonz" Fonzarelli of "Happy Days" fame...While I may not have found Laverne and Shirley in Milwaukee, all those preconceived notions of the city were whisked away, and I give this Midwestern gem a Fonzie-cool two thumbs up."

As an ambassador of MKE, I am filled with joy to know that despite your utter misinformation, you managed to get drunk in my city.
Who's got two cool thumbs up and thinks you suck?

This girl. 


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  1. Hey Molly, this is your long lost roommate. Just stumbling onto your blog. Very well done. I'll be popping in from time to time! Keep it up! Also, "shit syrup on the pretentious pancake stack" made me laugh out loud.

    1. Hooray! It's good to see you...on the internet. :) Thanks for visiting. I hope you are well!

      I'll be submitting my resume to Sacbee as a travel contributor. I'll keep you posted.

  2. @Justin Cormia -I laughed out loud too!

    Hmm...perhaps the nearly 600,000 people that call this fair city their home figured out that the amazing lake front, parks and trail systems, beaches and marinas, the art and historical museums, the diverse cuisine, and thriving performing arts scene are only a few of the things that are a bit better than the all-access-pass to cheese that comes with living here.

    It's disappointing that the author would assume the 30th most populous city in the United States was truly represented by sitcoms, and that she could only expect to eat brats and baked beans. It's a shame- she barely scratched the surface.

    1. It really is a shame. It does seem to be a stigma of the state we live in. I'm glad the author of the original article was surprised by the findings here, but at the same time, she didn't have to come off as snarky. This is a great city, and it has tons to do. (even though I, myself, am a lazy turd sometimes)

  3. I just went to read that article and I have to add my comment to one of her remarks, namely this one: "Did you know that not only can you make cheese from the milk of goats, sheep and cows, but also water buffalo...?" Uh YEAH! It's called MOZZARELLA! I guess this woman thinks everything she hasn't heard of yet is news to everyone.

    That museum does sound pretty freaking awesome, though. Wings?! That open up?? I wanna come see!!